Breaking the news

I found breaking the news to people pretty depressing, as it inevitably left them feeling sad, embarrassed and generally uncomfortable.

Everyone will be emotionally stretched, so take your time to plan how you are going to break the news and ideally share the task with someone you trust like a family member, spouse or friend. It might make it easier to guide them to this site to show what you are trying to achieve.

Before you inform >>>

1. List

Create a list of people you need to inform and decide on an order for informing them. i.e. family, friends, work colleagues official bodies, life policies etc. and people you would rather you would not inform at this stage.

2. Links

Consider the relationships people have with others i.e. I was conscious of causing a division in my family by telling a sister first with the risk of my other siblings finding out from her or her husband, second hand!

3. How

Decide who you will speak to directly as I found, when possible, it was better to inform people face-to-face, however, this is not always possible. Also consider asking a family member or friend to circulate the news to the wider world.

4. The Message

Decide on the message you want to convey. If you tell everyone you are going to die they will treat you differently to telling them that you are fighting hard to stay alive. My experience is that people are generally very supportive and given the opportunity will offer their services……….and/or advice. (I told people that I was preparing for the end, but working at turning my health around).

5. Spreading the news

Once you have started telling people it will spread through your family and friends very quickly, so be prepared. It is a great feeling when you get through this phase and can get down to healing yourself.